No.24609
We had been together for three years…. I’ve (F26) caught him sexting what I thought were other women before a few times, but the times it’s happened I never got a good look at the other women, nor did I want to. I always threatened to leave over it but never did…. But one day last week, he left his phone at home, and I found his kik account. I knew I’d find something the second I looked, and I was right. Don’t blast me for snooping, I know better, but I also know to trust my gut. Turns out, He’s been messaging trans women and men for encounters. He swears he has never hooked up with them, but I don’t believe that for a second. I always believed he was straight, but now he claims he’s bi, which is fine, but I wish I would have known before even dating him. I’m straight and it’s hard for me to understand without being judgmental. I simply don’t understand bc I’m not bi. I think he might be gay and in denial. And I don’t want to be his placeholder for others to assume he leads a “normal, straight” life. He says he doesn’t want me to leave, but I don’t trust him, and I never will.
I’m stuck in a difficult place of respecting myself and leaving, or staying and trying to work through it and learning how to forgive (something I’ve always struggled with). If I do forgive, it’s just going to happen again. I know I should leave, and am trying to figure out how… Im not looking for people to tell me what to do, just for someone to talk to that has been in a similar situation. I feel really alone in this. Everyone else in my like seems like that are in a really good place, about to get married, happy, and I don’t want to burden them with my issues… Anyone with a similar experience? How did you handle it?
TL;DR- I [F26] caught my boyfriend [M35] sexting trans women and men. He’s always downfield as straight. Now says he is bisexual. Need advice from others who may have gone through a situation like this.